What’s the difference between a terrorist and a woman with PMS? You can negotiate with a terrorist. 🙂
Joking aside, I’m actually serious that PMS can be a good thing, especially for the guitar-playing husband. Let me share my story…
My wife gets PMS – BADLY. It comes on suddenly, sneaking up from behind, and whacking me smack in the back of the head before I have any time to react. One day I’m Super Man and can do now wrong. The next day I’m the Antichrist and everything that’s wrong in her world is all my fault.
I used to fight back all the time, and we’d get into these huge shouting matches, usually with me leaving in a huff, calling my best friend, then going down to the local watering hole so both of us could complain about our PMS-ing wives while burying our anger in a cocktail or four (honestly, we have a two-drink maximum because we usually have to work the next day).
But I’ve learned a new tactic: That is simply to not put any energy into fighting back against something I can’t control – and neither can my wonderful wife. Instead, I play guitar. As in the second line of the graphic, I “Move out of the way.” I will also do some simple maintenance things around the house like scrub the kitchen floors (it’s actually a big job) before she has time to complain that I’m not doing anything. Once I’m done with my little chore, I then retreat to my garage/studio to play, and let out the pent-up stress by practicing or writing music.
A lot of my best stuff has come from pining away, pondering why I’m going through my private hell at the hands of the woman I love, who doesn’t realize how ragingly bitchy she’s being. In fact, my latest instrumental, “Running from the Future” was written when I just got my feelings trampled, “hiding out” and sipping a shot of fine scotch in my studio. The ultimate thought that triggered the song had nothing to do with how I was feeling about my wife, but that melancholy surely helped me through the writing process. Funny enough, some of the feedback I’ve gotten is that the song is really uplifting. I guess that was my response to how shitty I was feeling. I needed something to pick me up!
All that said, PMS has been a great thing. My wife leaves me alone when I do the chores, and I can be free to play guitar. Hmmm…. looks like the kitchen counters need clearing. 🙂
Care to share your PMS Protection Plan? 🙂