Guitar Gear

…We know it’s good for us, but we don’t enjoy the taste.

That’s a corollary on a saying my cousin shared on Facebook: Truth is a bully we all pretend to like. It got me thinking about some feedback I gave to a young singer/songwriter this weekend on her playing, which was not very good. I first didn’t say it directly and simply said, “That’s a great song you’ve written. If you have a chart, I could accompany you, so you could focus on your singing and not have to think about the accompaniment.”

“I play just fine,” she said.

I replied, “Well… truth be told, some customers last week did mention that while they liked the song, they felt the piano playing was a bit choppy.” (That’s actually the truth; as a few asked me why I didn’t accompany her).

“To you, maybe,” she shortly replied, “I’m not here to be the brilliant musician.”

I said, “Look, you’re reading me completely wrong. I want to make you and your song look absolutely the best, and frankly, your playing is choppy, and you’d have a much better appeal if you had backup that’ll make you shine.”

She wasn’t having any of it. There was a bit more in the exchange that I’d rather not dive into, but I was really taken aback by the arrogance and total lack of humility. I do know one thing, having been performing for over 40 years, she’s in for some serious smack-down. I’ve encountered many performers like that over the years that operate off their own hubris. They get their bubble popped and it’s like their world comes crashing down around them.

Hell! I even operated like that years ago, thinking my own music was something special; only to get feedback from a pro that lyrically, it was cliche, and a lot of my musical phrasing was something that had been done hundreds of time over – in other words, it wasn’t very original. Yikes! I was crushed.

But as Sylvester Stallone said in the movie, Rocky Balboa, “It ain’t about how hard you hit, but about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward…” And that’s kind of the crux of this entry, dear readers.

We all tout wanting to be honest and receive honesty in return. But honesty is like taking cold medicine. Rarely do we enjoy the taste. But in the end, we actually do feel better. After having experienced that crushing review of my music, I just happened to watch Rocky Balboa and that saying shook me to the core, and I realized that a little humility goes a long, long way. It’s good to believe in ourselves and our abilities, but don’t let that belief turn into hubris. Besides, with humility, we give ourselves room to grow and get better.

After I got that feedback, it actually took me awhile to do some soul-searching – a couple of years, in fact. But I jumped on the horse again, so to say, and started writing again. This time ’round, I went at it with no particular goal in mind; just let the music and lyrics flow. Don’t have expectations of where I think my music should be. It it goes nowhere, that’s okay. But most importantly, really listen to the feedback. So as opposed to parading my music in front of friends and family first, none of my newest songs go out without a professional review from producers in the music industry who critique the songs on their structure, lyrics, and melody. As a result, I think I’ve become a much better writer.

It’s not that I’m following a formula that they prescribe. The reviewer I use the most stresses originality, and absolutely nails me on being cliche. But they are keen on flow and making sure my lyrics make sense. All in all, it has been a great growing experience.

Who knows where my music will go? I’ll be heading into the studio in the next couple of months to start recording and then I’ll get my album out. We’ll see where it goes from there…

Read Full Post »

I’ve been on the job hunt these past few weeks, which is why I haven’t posted as much as I normally would. And in my search, interviewers have all asked the standard question: “Why did you leave your last position? You were there for three-and-a-half years.” My original “pat” answer was, “It became too political.” But that was really only a minute part of why I left. I only said that because I had a hard time articulating what really was at the core of my leaving; and simply put, it was a gradual reduction in freedom: Freedom to think, freedom to be creative, freedom to be honest.

When I first started at that company, we were pre-IPO. The engineering team was lean – about 50 people to develop for a HUGE enterprise app – and thus, we all wore lots of hats. It was chaos, but the level of teamwork and collaboration was at a level before which I had never experienced. Because of our flat organization, we were all expected to lead in some way, shape, or form at any time. There were no egos.

But all that changed after the IPO as the company transformed into a classic corporate culture where collaboration and courage gave way to internal competition. That change in culture eroded the sense of ownership of employees, as the executive management focused on pleasing Wall Street, and started practicing Wall Street’s executive rewards programs: Paying themselves huge bonuses in stock and cash, while not rewarding the rank and file in kind. They created management layers and stratified the entire organization. The values that the company was built on were only given lip service.

That’s why I left. I could no longer work for a company that was not living up to its values.

So what does this have to do with this blog? 🙂 I came to that realization above as I was writing some of my latest songs, so bear with me.

As a sanity check, I submit my music to a few different services to be critiqued. I’ve always known that my music while Christian in flavor, really doesn’t fit in the Contemporary Christian music category. But several reviewers have come back with critiques to shape my songs into that genre. My reaction has been, “I guess they don’t get what my music is about…” Mind you, that’s not an ego thing. It’s more of an awareness that it’s completely different from the genre. However, one reviewer whom I have been using for critiques and who is also the most brutally honest with me, has never tried to change my songs to fit in the CCM bucket. Instead, she evaluates my songs completely on their own merit, allowing me to build on my creativity, and working with me on making tweaks that serve the song as opposed to genre.

Frankly, my music could be considered “contemporary sacred,” as it is all worship music, and really meant to be played within the context of some sort of worship ceremony or event. Most songs I write aren’t just for listening: They’re for interaction. They’re meant to be sung.

During a recent conversation with the reviewer I mentioned, I realized that a sense of “freedom” is a critical ingredient to creativity. In the past couple of weeks, I have been churning out new music that will be going on my new sacred songs album. I have been experiencing an incredible burst of creativity. That is largely due to having this sense of freedom: I’m writing what I feel I need to write, free from the consideration of what someone else might think. In essence, I’ve given myself the freedom to be creative and stopped trying to build a box around what I think my music should be, or worrying myself about whether or not it will be liked. It is what it is.

For highly creative people, reduction in freedom to create, whether or not it’s self-inflicted kills their ability to create. For me, once I gave myself permission to write what I needed to write, all sorts of great things happened…

Read Full Post »