- You can play your Guitar any time of the month.
- Guitars don’t have parents.
- Guitars don’t whine… unless you want them to.
- You can share your Guitar with your friends.
- Guitars don’t care how many other Guitars you’ve played
- Guitars don’t care how many other Guitars you have.
- Guitars don’t care if you look at other Guitars.
- Guitars don’t care if you buy Guitar magazines.
- You’ll never hear, “Surprise, you are going to proud father of a new Guitar” unless you go out to buy one yourself.
- If your Guitar is flat you can fix it (well… that can be “fixed” on a woman too).
- Your Guitar doesn’t care if you never listen to it.
- Your Guitar won’t care if you leave up the toilet seat.
- You don’t have to be jealous of the guy who works on your Guitar.
- If you say bad things to your Guitar, you don’t have to apologize before you play it again.
- You can play your Guitar as long as you want and it won’t get sore.
- You can stop playing your Guitar as soon as you want and it won’t get frustrated.
- Your parents won’t remain in touch with your old Guitar after you dump it.
- Guitars don’t get headaches.
- Guitars don’t insult you if you’re a bad player.
- Your Guitar never wants a night out with the other Guitars.
- Guitars don’t care if you’re late.
- You don’t have to take a shower before you play your Guitar.
- If your Guitar doesn’t look good you can refinish it or get new parts.
- You can play your Guitar the first time you meet it, without having to take it to dinner, see a movie, or meet its mother.
- The only protection you have to wear when playing your Guitar is a decent pick.
- When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great time you had the last time you played your Guitar.
- You can mute your Guitar and it won’t complain.
- Your Guitar won’t mind if you bend its G-string.
Posts Tagged ‘guitar humor’
Guitars Are Better Than Women Because…
Posted in Guitars, tagged gear, guitar, guitar gear, guitar humor, guitarists, Guitars, Music, musicians on June 28, 2011| 7 Comments »
On Dirty G Strings and Nuts
Posted in Guitars, tagged guitar, guitar humor, guitarists, Guitars, Music, musicians on April 15, 2010| 2 Comments »
Imagine someone walking into or past an ongoing conversation between guitarists and hearing things like the following. I wonder what their responses might be. Here are some possible thoughts…
“…yeah, my G string sticks and makes it hard to play,” with the associated reply of, “Then you should lube your nut so that it moves back and forth more easily. A sharp pencil will work…”
If it sticks, it shouldn’t get hard… F$#k ME! A pencil? Where the hell do you put it? Oh well, to each their own…
—
“I must play on my G string a lot. Can’t believe how much crap gets built up on it.”
Naturally… and you wouldn’t even have play with your G string to get crap on it…
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“Man, that thing has an incredibly tight bottom-end. You can really rip it up.”
Thing? As in dog? Donkey? Dude, you need help. This is one situation where sticking with your own kind is a good thing!
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“…all in black. No exposed joints anywhere.”
What? You describing that nun, Sister Mary Elephant?
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“…incredible lines on that one. Graceful neck, and a body with perfect curves. Just oozes elegance…”
Damn! I’m gettin’ all hot and bothered. I’d love to meet her…”
—
“Every time I put my fingers around her neck and move up and down, she just sings with joy.”
Man, that’s one f#$ked up chick! Hope you don’t leave bruise marks…….
Context, context, context…
Crap! My G-String Needs Changing!
Posted in guitar lifestyle, tagged guitar humor, Music, musicians on August 4, 2009| Leave a Comment »
Don’t you love double entendres, especially when they’re said completely by accident?
I was on the GuitarGearHeads.com forum this evening checking on a thread I posted to, mssmith, posted this in reference to the new Reason Bambino:
Last night my wife asked me what I want for Christmas, so I said a Bambino (we have 4 girls already) and she almost had a heart attack. Then I told her what I meant and got snubbed. Go figure….
I almost fell out of my chair when I read this! I have to pass this on to the Reason guys!
Guitar Gear 